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07/12/06

Permalink 07:23:09 am, Categories: Photos, 271 words   English (NZ)

Life... and the flight of the bumble bee

Here ends my tragi-comic nine month at Palmerston North. The work here has come to an end; the lives saved, the hunger nourished and the tuberculosis fiasco has spread like herpes on steroids. My job here is done. I fair welled all my immensely good looking friends, ignored all the fuglee ones and took off in to the sunset (well sunrise really, since I left at 7.30 in the morning).

The drive to Wellington was fairly uneventful. I have grown accustomed to the rather pedestrian road traffic of Palmerston North, so the trip was lively and suited my eager-beaver temperament of the day. Once I have navigated through the various rat maze to arrive at the ferry terminal, I was greeted with the following:

Van... with some mild vulgarisms...

Awesome. Nice to see people making at least some vague attempt at socialising these days. Even if it involves being surrounded by unsavory parts of someones' anatomy.

The boat ride was, again, fairly uneventful. I took the time out to watch Robot Chicken on my notebook. For the people who have not seen the show, it is a puppet show of sorts made by Seith Green. It has a large element of sick twisted humour with a dash of subtle vulgarity on top.

After much 'oooo'ing and 'ahhhh'ing at the young (but legal) European fauna, the drive down to Christchurch was surprisingly quick. It only took me a period of no longer than four hours and ten minutes to arrive at the serene sanctity of my parents house, where I shall leech and rob them of their foodstuffs for the next successive three month. Life shall be good.

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06/12/06

Permalink 06:14:30 am, Categories: Photos, 257 words   English (US)

Life... and the inevitable addition of friendly photographs...

I would say that my friends are like the fence posts of my life: they hold the number 8 wires in place so the hordes of rampaging psychotic sheep are unable to escape and cause wanton destruction upon the benign unsuspecting population. Quite disappointing really, but I'm sure my mental well being is spaired from otherwise tragic roadkill similes. A few weeks ago my friends and I decided to conduct a road trip to Wellington, a short drive from the boring rest home confines of Palmerston North.

Here is Shay Lan doing his best to impress the girls. Needless to say they were all wooed by his stunning charisma.

Shay Lan impressing the Wellingtonian girls with his charm and charisma...

Here are Kevin and Jennifer perusing through photos of themselves:

Jen and Kevin, perusing through Kevin's photographic genius...

This? This just looks a bit gay really:

One thing they really should have more of in Wellington are food courts. One per two blocks may just be enough. I very much support the grand strategy of the local city council; starving their residents so they will look attractive is a fabulous idea and I have no doubt at all that it is working well. But when Shay Lan and I were trying to find some scrap of food at 3pm in the afternoon, the difficulty of the hunt was complicated by a) the lack of food courts available, and b) hypoglycaemia induced by the lack of food courts, as we haven't really had anything since the booze up the night before. We really should have carried some of that 50% Southern Comfort as a form of nutritional back up.

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05/12/06

Permalink 05:25:31 am, Categories: News, 261 words   English (US)

Life... and the eternal urge to have my own blog site...

Let the world rejoice! My own blog site! Cue opening speech:

I could start by thanking everyone for visiting and saying how overdue this has been. But I know if I used that as my main topic of discussion, you'd all think I'm a pussy and never come back again. So instead I shall start with an in depth dissection of the site name. As per http://www.dictionary.com/, the definition of the word 'bachelor' is as follows:

bach·e·lor
–noun
1. an unmarried man.
2. a person who has been awarded a bachelor's degree.
3. a fur seal, esp. a young male, kept from the breeding grounds by the older males.
4. Also called bachelor-at-arms. a young knight who followed the banner of another.
5. Also called household knight. a landless knight.

Wow, what a wealth of learning experience you say. You didn't know about the poor psychologically castrated young seal did you? Worthy of a disney movie really. Anyway, I digress. All definitions are, fortuitously or there lack of, currently quite applicable to my life at the present time; though I am currently working on 3 and 5 at the moment, so neither should be an issue in the future should my plans for world domination comes to fruition. After all, whats life without a gorgeous Swedish farm girl with fake implants at your side, whilst commanding tracks and tracks of land and imposing compulsory revenue from its peasant inhabitants?

Hint of the Day: spell check your blogs. Spelling mistakes corrected = 3

Please also visit http://joffin.blogspot.com should your liberal-thinking tastebuds feel unloved.

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Christchurch Bachelor

Ever wanted to gnaw your way into the deep, dark recess of your typical Christchurch Bachelor? Knaw no more my good visitor! For here lies the answer for your every inkling and festering question. Read... for your answers lie within...

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